To put it simply, It's my job to be nice to everyone- no matter what. I feel that this is pretty much a commonly understood arrangement. No one would go out to eat to get ignored, or criticized or talked down to. (Actually, I think there's a restaurant that encourages that- it's called 'Dicks' or something. *Point* ONE restaurant.) Anyway... Men, women, young, old, white, black, whatever. Nice, nice, nice, nice, and nice, whatever. For the most part, I am pretty good at maintaining this demeanor through out my day- I think, but that's another story.
Here's the problem:
When men come in, and I am nice to them... do they REALLY think we (I say 'we' as a people... female servers in general.) are flirting with them?
Okay, here's the scenario. There's three or four, or more men sitting down. They are either dirty from working all day, or high off the fumes of their own cologne in a desperate attempt to impress the other "VIPs" paying 11 dollars for a cocktail somewhere downtown (their next stop). Either way, they're not cool. Regardless of which social class they fit into, they proceed to order countless drinks, food items, and run me ragged waiting on them and cleaning up after them. They may as well be pigs, or limb-less children because for these short 42 minutes we share together, they're helplessly repulsive.
They typically talk to each other unusually loud when talking about "cool" things, like their shoes, or what kind of car they drive while using "cool" words like 'scene' and 'boss'...
Or once, I had one gentleman who tried less to be "cool", instead, went for the "average guy" approach. He told me about some normal happenings in his life. We explored his first love, who left him and is getting married soon to another man. Although they are still BFFs, she wants him to be in the wedding, and he just couldn't BEAR to watch his first love wed another man. Next, I learned about his most recent love (only the second person he ever used the L- Word for) who dumped him... on his birthday. It was obvious to everyone involved that it was her mother's fault for depicting him in a negative light, but needless to say, he is just heartbroken. He then listed everything positive he has to offer, such as a job, and an apartment, and VIP access to every bar downtown.
COOL!!!!!!! ...Not! Nope, sorry. You're still pathetic. You really think that telling me how miserable your love life is will make me feel sorry for you?
And once, the icing on the cake, shall we say... I was serving a table of two 20 something guys who were quiet, and seemed fairly nice- until they finished eating, paid and didn't leave. I went back over to check on them, curious as to why they weren't leaving, when one of them asked me out. When I told him "Sorry, I'm seeing someone..." they left right away, taking with them the cash tip they'd left for me on the table. Really?! I wasn't a bit**, I didn't laugh in your face, and I also didn't leave you my number, or a fake number, leading you on (which would have been much worse in my opinion). Whatever...
Why do men think ANY of these are noteworthy tactics to make a good impression on women? But more importantly, why, when I continue being nice to them- do they have to think I am interested?
On the surface, I get it.
In any other scenario- if you are nice to a woman and she responds nicely back, thats a good sign. BUT, in a restaurant, it is my job to be nice to you! PERIOD. You are about to give me money. The nicer I am, the more money you are likely to give me. It sounds harsh, but thats probably the only reason I'm being nice to you.
SO Gentleman, next time you go to the coffee shop and the cute barista gives you an extra shot, and a little wink- she doesn't want to give you her number. The next time the sexy bartender gives you a free beer, she probably just forgot to add it on, or is hoping you realize it, and make up for the discount in her tip- she does not want to do you.
Sorry. The truth hurts, doesn't it.
Now that's BOSS!! :0)
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